


Spirit

by Pixie_Sophii



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 08:51:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixie_Sophii/pseuds/Pixie_Sophii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christy has just been shot in a freak accident, she now ponders life as we know it as energy.<br/>Short Monologue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spirit

I'd been thinking about death all morning. Kind of hard not to when it seems like that was biggest event in my life. One minute you're a nobody, can't hold down a decent job, don't have any close friends or family, then all of a sudden, with just one bullet, I'm a somebody. No one even knew my name yesterday, and now all of a sudden the entire country is mourning me. My family are plastered all over the papers, "dearest daughter took too soon", "Our beloved Christy", beloved? Don't make me laugh. All you want is some bloody attention. "All we want is some compensation for our daughters death", I bet you do. You're a disgrace.  
There is nothing I can do in this vast nothingness, so I shall stay content. It's strange but since being here every time I've gotten overly emotional about something, it feels like something washes over me, and I am put back at ease. Emotions don't matter anymore.  I am no longer human. I no longer feel that this tiny part of who I was is who I am now. I feel evolved. Beyond emotion. Kind of beyond humanity. I'm not sure I understand what I am anymore, but whatever it is it make me feel like I'm part of something much bigger, much more substantial, yet flimsy and frivolous. Like with one slight flick everything could split, splinter, crack and fall apart, leaving nothing but darkness and a hum of what was.    
I don't understand now why I was thinking about my death all morning like it mattered to me. It doesn't matter to me, it is just the everlasting cycle of life. I know now that three minutes after I was pronounced dead a little boy was born in Pittsburg. 30 seconds after that a tree was pulled from the earth in New Zealand. 12 minutes after that a litter of 4 kittens were born, and half a second after that a the sproat of a strawberry bush arose in Scotland. The never ending beauty that is life and death. The constant energy tranfer that keeps the world from splitting apart. It's mesmirising. It's overwhelming. I think that is what this content feeling is, that I am waiting to be transferred back into another living thing, so why let just one of my many lives, and my many deaths, distort who I am. What I am. I am the essense of life. I am the energy that flows throughout. I am constantly changing who I am, so why bother worrying about the past?  
I am scared because I know that once nature has decided where I must go next that I will forget all this. I will forget what am amazing experience dying was, how enlightening this feeling is. I am also scared because I will never know this comfortable feeling of content until I die once again.  
 It is strange to think that if I was living and knew what I know now how much I would welcome death. Human beings spend their entire life mourning their loved ones, fearing their inevitable end. They are so ignorant as to what they are a part of. They are selfish, rediculous creatures.  
  
I hope I return as something beautiful. An ever stretching Willow tree, winding my way into the sky. A bold and bright Scarlet Tanager, singing my way through central America. A proud and elegant Snow Leopard, peering over from the mountains of Asia.  
  
I remember nothing of my past. What was my name again?

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short monologue I did for university. I was quite proud of it so I thought I'd share it.


End file.
